Of Cobwebs And Plenty Of Dust

Niasing, this is ABANDONMENT  in a whole a new fucken way. 

Damn, it's been that long huh ? 

1 fucken year and more.

What's new ? Plenty but yet none. 

Oh well, that's life, innit ? 

Tra la la ....

Holy Cow !

How to fucken detect a crazy crazy and incredibly near impossible orgasmic game of Scrabalous ?

Here's how :
Oxyphenbutazone for a score of 1778 ! Holy cow, fuck me ....

Passing Jugdement

Looking at him, you promised yourself to never ever be caught in such situation.

To be stripped slowly of what’s left of one’s masculinity and respect in such a way is certainly not what you are prepared for.

Period.

Thus, you sauntered away, knowing fully you are about to decline the offer soon.

*flips hair*

So, What's Next #258 ?

Most times, I simply have no idea what to do with my very much weathered and abandoned blog.

To ditch or not to ditch. To leave or to stay. I simply am not sure.

What I'm pretty certain is that most of my entries these days are very much watered down. Not unlike diluted coffee. One can still taste the caffeine but it won’t keep you awake. That sort of things.

To be honest, I tend to self-censored myself whenever I blog ( if I ever ) these days. I rarely blog about anything personal anymore. I might thread, but I seldom dive, if you get the drift.

Yeah, some might argue that this is my blog, so I should blog whatever fuck I want but then again, should I ?

I mean, as abandoned as this blog is, it is still being RSS-ed by some friends, some haters and a lover.

To receive a nudge asking whether I’m okay whenever I post an emo-slash-vile piece is the last thing I want.

Big attention whore I am, but at times, I also just wanna say my peace and get it done with. With no subsequent drama or dildos being thrown at my beaten face.

For this face can't take anymore dents, a'wight !!!

Diet Coke and A Pizza Please

Your obsession with weight is nothing new.

Everyone who knows you will vouch for it. Heck, you even started drinking laxatives with mummy dearest when you are like 14. So, go figure !

You are fat, therefore you fret. Yup, that basically explains it all.

Usually your level of fat-induced paranoia is in a deluded stage aka it's-okay-ed-ur-fat-but-ur-cute-that-way but these days, you’re just sick of tapping into the niche market again and again and again.

You are no circus freak, so why obscure yourself to such runway, you questioned. And you are right. You shouldn’t.

You should strive to do mass catering. Of the crassier kind, of course.

You should. You oughta. You need to.

For having “baby” fats when you are in your early teens is cute.

Early twenties forgiveable.

And fucken suicidal when you are a cock and two balls away from the big 30.

Big girl, you are beautiful.

*screeching sounds*

Not.

Down South

“You heartless bitch !”, says unsean.

Well, sue me for being honest. I just can’t help it. That’s all.

I ended up in Singapore last week and it’s been almost a good 1 year since the last time I’m there and a good 3 years since I’m no longer a resident. If it’s not for work-related, doubt I’ll be there anytime soon.

It doesn’t feel like a homecoming that’s for sure, nor am I overly excited about coming back. I told unsean that and the above was his 'riposte'. Heh.

Don’t get me wrong here.

I am still grateful for what Singapore has given me, wonderful wonderful memories and all but to put it succinctly, I think somehow I have given up the notion that I will head back south. At least, not for now.

Where I used to fret over my PR being cancelled, these days, I just don’t.

I just don't.

The Shell

“Omg, you are going back again ?”

“Nie mesti ada jantan lain dekat kampung”

Yeah, roughly that’s the poke I’ll get whenever I told me mates that I’m heading home.

Home here, is well about 1 and half hours drive from dusty ol’ Kl. Which honestly, ain’t that far. Heck, at times, that’s just about the bloody amount of time I spent getting my fat arse back to ghetto KL from the workplace.

Federal Highway, anyone?

Anyway, jantan aside ( yes, there is indeed another man back home eagerly waiting to lick, greet and jump all over me the minute I'm back but that's another story for another day), I just look forward to head home every single time.

I just do.

For the lack of some fanciful words, home is well, home. It is where the village clam in me comes alive. The Ah Lian comes shinning thru.

Home is where I’m truly most relaxed. Like big time.

Weekends were spent literally doing nothing but just pigging out at the living room, watching another re-run of E ! Daily Ten, with two personal butlers at my beck and call. Yes, I’m an ingrate son, but sue me !

No draggin my arse to gym for the weekend cardio or think of what to eat for dinner. Everything is just so organic and lazy and need no planning. Well, almost no planning except my obligatory facial session with Ah Mian and massage session with Kak Ena whenever I’m back. Hell, even all that jazz are pre-arranged by me very efficient and loving mum.

Oh, such village life ! Me hometown ! Me love you long time !

As they say, one can pluck the clam out of her village, but one can never pluck the village out of her !

Peace out, kampung baru cheena style !

One Last Spurt

We went and then we left.

It was supposed to be the end of an era, SATC style. And as much as I wanna wail, scream, cry a bucket and strip for her, aiks, it was not to be.

I felt ziltch. Nadah. No, no, no.

Highlight of the night.

I got ID-ed. Yes, yes, yes.

The Importance Of Being Cranky

Boys, here's a lil tip for you lots.

Be cranky and foul once in a while. And you might get a nice lil lollipop in return.

Here's mine. From minge.

And yes, I am gloating !

Inside the first aid kit :

And the card says:

And yes, it's very satisfactory indeed !

PS : Thanks, Will for being such good sport to courier it !

A Dog's Life

Foul or groggy will be best adjective to describe me lately.

I’m just …well, just not feeling all chirpy and tra la la. Ain’t too sure what’s the deal behind all these jazz but hey, I really don’t wanna dig deep into that pile of shite and smear myself further with brownie smudges.

Fuck it la !

All I know is I’m feeling a bit direction-less at the moment. Not to mention pretty much stagnant in many aspect of my life.

And way way way fucken HUGE. Any moment now and the friction between my two lovely thighs will be creating sparks, I kid you not !

Either that or I’ll start gathering tinder to kick-start a sacrificial ceremony real soon.

Life is a bitch, and I’m her mutt !