So You Think You Got Style ?

I know, I know. I'm Evil. Mean. Tasteless. And a certified class D bitch.

But. But. But. But ... I can't just help it, okay ! So here goes : -

Ramli dear, mintak maaf ya, but if you are reading this ( zero chance ! ), what's with the hair la ? That burung sarang dang really really make my tits go all bursting and wobbly ler !

Like please, please, puhlease sack ur stylist !

Spa-ed !

Okay, I don't really care for the herbal steam or the floral footbath or the tea ceremony ( a pot of ginger tea with two lil lemon cookies ain't a ceremony, okay ! ) or the disposable panties briefs that I gotta wear but ohmygawd, ohmyfuckengawd, the massage was a pure SIN ! Left right and center no less ...

To be manhandled by two masseur simultaneously for a good 50 minutes was pure orgasmic. Too bad they are fillies. Else, I'll be a happier cummer camper ! Heh.

Oh Mandara ! Oh Mandara !

I went in as a man and came out feeling like a woman. Pampered and fab !



Very noice indeed .....

Because I'm Loreal * ?

He said it is. And somehow, I tend to agree ( ahem ! ).

Anyway, this is what minge got me the other day.

A package from them. Looking at the brochure, apparently it is the mama of all packages. Some signature treatment wor. Performed by two therapists ( *roll eyes* ) in a blend of 5 different massages styles ( wtf ? ) . And with a tea ceremony, a floral footbath and a steam shower infused with dunnoe what-jamu-ratu ( bridal alert ! bridal alert ! ) thrown into the picture as well. Omg, seriously ?

Honestly, if you ask me, me think it is way too pricey. For 400++ a pop, like hello, I can easily get like 8 sessions from err... i don't know, say places like these. Yeah, admittedly those places are slightly dodgy, but ermmmm.....end of the day, a massage is still a massage, no ? Prolly with happy ending summore hor. Heh.

So, yeah, it is a bit of an indulgence and minge really shouldn't have waste his hard earned cash this way. Having said that, I really really reaallli do appreciate the effort la. Afterall, he did remember me bitching about me yearning of a massage or two a couple of weeks ago.

So an extra large shoutout to minge for that. And of course, to the two Lagerfeld girls for all the layan-ing, planning and running around getting me this bridal gift on his behalf, a big big thank you, yar ! You guys rawk, tweed jacket style.

Five dicks-up for the effort but damn, so pressure la. Like how la to top this up the next time ?

I mean seriously, minge sayang, I certainly can't afford to sponsor those meranti timber flooring for the entire apartment just yet hor ....

* entry title courtesy of ciggie girl.

The Labels

I've been called many things in my life.

The Bitch. Sei Fei Chai. Goody-Two-Shoes. Snob. Good-for-nothing. Slut. Katak. Lin Dai ( Don't ask ! ). Faggot. Minge. Muff. Whore. Lesbian. Bookworm. Gorgeous ( ahem ! ). The Flamer. Fatty Bom Bom. Stewpid. Smarty Pants ( double ahem ! ). Gemuk. Gold-digger. Pat Poh. Woman. The Butt-Plug. Arty Farty. Bumboy. Twat. The Queen.



And soon, I'll have meself a brand new tag. Adding to the oh-so-flattering list of mine.

The Getratic *Geriatric.

Yippee. Yay. Die.

* re-edit. salah spelling. heh.

Baby Steps

So, yeah ... the time has finally arrived for minge's debutante. Parading me spud to me straighter than straight homies in another round of homo-coming.

Okay, first thing first. If I'm allowed to be honest here, the whole idea of introducing minge to me hometown friends is really really a train wreck if not traumatizing. Ever since my yes-folks-i-am-flaming-flamingo episode, the homies has been pressuring me to introduce minge to 'em lots. Now, that episode itself was traumatizing enough, so imagine me horror of introducing minge to 'em.

Oh come on, cut me some slack here, okay !? Fyi, I've been closeted to 'em for more that a decade now and I've just rafflesia-ed myself to them last year. So, I'm still a lil uncomfy and one oughta understand me situation here. Even though they have accepted me for being a butt-plug, but hey, in our hood, trudging activities are still not widely spread and it's still talked in a hush-hush manner, okay ! Mainstream it wasn't.

And on top of that, I must also make sure that me homies likes minge. Yes, they have to. They ought to.We have to. Theory is, well if we are ever to fancy us some prissy god-daughters, being chummy with some breeders straight lovely friends is a good starting point, no ?

And all this jazz is basically on my end. Wouldn't want to imagine what's on minge end. Surely ain't a strut down the catwalk, that's for sure.

Anyway, back to the storyboard. So, the date was set and the debutante was organized. Minge was to meet all 6.5 of them. The gig started a bit shaky as minge being minge, he overslept and we were late. As we all know, late and good impression are two nasty bitches when caged together !

So, bummer, not exactly a good start. But phew, that hiccup aside, the whole shebang went well, I suppose. The first few minutes of introducing minge to 'em lots was a bit of a kerfuffle, but thank god things started to flow on nicely soon after. Heck, after awhile, we were even able to insert some cocks, nipples, clamps and whatnot talks into the whole dang without much censorship.

And I have to say, minge was fierce ! Thanks to his okay PR skills, me homies thought that I've bagged meself a decent hunk-a-spunk !

"Not too shady, Eddie boy!", they collectively agreed.

So yeah, I guess the whole dang ain't that bad after all. We did good. Minge and I. Another homo step conquered, a gazillion more to go. Oh well, that's life, innit ?

And oh by the way, I think our name might even be in some potential god-parents list real soon too !

*smirk*